January 17, 2009 (This Day)

I’m in a better frame of mind because my “monthly” visitor has left me, and, just for today, I have no adverse symptoms of being a girl.  How much I appreciate that, I cannot express.

The cold is supposed to be lifting but it’s still frigid and too cold to walk the dog.  I’m practicing being peaceful with that.  It’s also a four day weekend for me because I’ll be off on Tuesday as well as Monday.  For almost two weeks now, I’ve been consciously trying to lose weight in a formal way.  Weigh in day is Sunday for me.  Last Sunday, after one week, the scale showed I was down four pounds, but with all my hormones on a rampage, I’m not banking on that.

Tonight I’m chairing my group’s meeting and I’ve asked someone to lead who I’ve known the whole time I’ve lived here – over ten years.  That is really special to me, and I’m looking forward to it very much.  After the meeting a group of us almost always go out.  I’m saving my calories today for a pot roast sandwich.  A huge advantage to being married within the program is that it doesn’t matter if no one else wants to go, I still have Carole to go with.  This “meeting after the meeting” is something I did all the time when I was new.  It was invaluable to me.  As I got older, some of the benefits of sobriety, namely, the children, stopped me from doing it all that often.  One group I belonged to along the way did it every Sunday night, and I joined them, always having a Heath Bar Sundae.  Back when I was thinner.  I really like doing it, and we always invite everyone at the meeting to join us.

So for today I’m feeling optimistic about the weekend, the night, the weather, the dog, my symptoms, and even the new government.  I’ll try not to overdo it on the hope, though, since life still operates on life’s terms, not on mine.  I’m sure there’s some sort of something I need to understand better about aligning my hopes with life’s terms.


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