Every AA has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake. To a degree, he has already done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt and in what ways. This reopening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery. But if a willing start is made, then the great advantages of doing this will so quickly reveal themselves that the pain will be lessened as one obstacle after another melts away.
I’m very unsure of what to do here.
How many people have I hurt, and in what ways? What human wreckage have I left in my wake?
Mostly, these days, I hope I bring good things to people and relationships, or at least neutral things. I’m not wrecking things anything like I did when I was drinking. No comparison.
It’s tempting to start a list and to start with work people. The death of someone there today makes it starkly obvious to me that we are all in relationship there, very closely. But I think I’ll wait a while to get farther into the step to see if this is really what I should do.