November 20, 2008 (This Day at This Time)

I went to work today.  Short staff plus upcoming holidays made it a hectic day.  I had another good meeting, where I was glad I could do something for a family member of a young person with disabilities.  At this meeting I had to listen to someone who I (still) perceive to be one of the “bad” guys.  I had to listen to this person sound good.  I tried (and tried and tried) to see the good in this person.  I’m sure there’s lots.

It’s getting harder and harder not to get sarcasitc and shitty about the person who still doesn’t do his job.  I have to stop doing that.  The part of his job I did today, that I didn’t want to do, was arrange a schedule.  I made myself a little cheat sheet so that hopefully next time I have to do it (maybe tomorrow), I can maybe take less time with it.

Carole walked Xandra with me, and I am grateful.  Erika announced that she’s looking at an apartment on Saturday, just to see what’s out there.  I so don’t want her to go!  I will try to be brave(r).

Today was the “Great American Smoke Out,” and I’m so grateful I didn’t have to quit, or fail to quit, today.  That was a wicked addiction.

We’re sort of starting to get ready for Thanksgiving.  My mother will be staying for a week.  Two other friends are coming, and again, I’m very grateful.  I still find it hard not to miss those who are gone and the way things used to be.  That’s because things used to be good!  They still are good, but different.  Last year, the kids had two international visitors, which was very cool.  This year it’s looking like just my mother, my kids, my wife and my friends.  For Christmas it may be all these minus my mother, plus someone else’s mother.  I want these to be new traditions, but really, the kids will likely move away before too long.  There are many things I love about now.  I have to concentrate on them.

In thinking more specifically about what I miss, it is, of course, the people.  But a Thanksgiving of my childhood included me, my mother, her husband, her parents, her sister, her sister’s husband and two children (my cousins), and her brother, my uncle.  My grandmother’s sister hosted Thanksgiving, and her daughter and her daughter’s three children were also there.

After I had kids and my mother’s sister hosted it, and after my grandparents died, it included me and my two kids, my mother, my aunt and her husband and their two kids, and my uncle, his wife, and their two kids.  I’ve always felt I had a tiny family, because I am an only child.  It wasn’t until recently, when I heard Carole describing this to someone, that I realized that was a large family, and a large gathering.  And it’s gone from me now.  I can’t help but be very grateful for the people coming this year.  I can’t help but miss those times that are over.


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