Steps Eight and Nine are concerned with personal relations. First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.
Well, just on the surface of that, I will say this is something I want to do anew. I have faulty relationships with many people. Every relationship of mine could be better, but some are just all together bad.
Developing the best possible relations with every human being I know is an awesome goal. It should have been, and on some level it has been, my objective all along. I’m looking forward to doing this again now.
I want to add something it made me think of. When I first started in AA, and when I saw this step, I thought of one particular person I would never apologize to or try to have a good relationship with. That held me back for a time. I know someone who is new to the program who is also hung up on this issue. He has one particular person he hates, and he feels he will never try to do otherwise, so he has sort of written off all of the steps and much of the program.
I know that this is a mistake. Even though my mind is still pretty much shut against trying to mend that relationship, it will not prevent me from working this step and all the steps to the best of my ability. It cannot stop me. I truly believe I will die or worse without AA, so I’ll keep going. I hope my friend decides to do the same.