But Whenever We Had to Choose (Step Seven continued)

But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness.

I thought I wouldn’t have much to say about the beginning parts of this step.  After all, I have spent so many years considering humility and being humble!  (Doesn’t it show?)  I am also partly back in the space where I can’t identify with some aspects of the middle aged maleness of some of the AA writing.  I know these guys took money from their families, lost their jobs, cheated on their wives, etc etc.  If I follow this thought, I will admit that I would have been headed for a similar fate, if I had been lucky enough to achieve it.  Honestly, I was probably too far gone to live that long or achieve even that much.

So yes, I chased after what I thought was happiness.  In my pitiful little world, that mostly consisted of the guy I wanted to be with, and a future dream of having children.  And as I wrote previously, even though I was only 16 when all this began, even at 16, I did know it was very wrong.  And I did it anyway.  I did it at 16 and 17 and 18, and up until I was almost 22.

It’s a little more difficult to apply this to today.  Over the years I’ve come to see that character building leads to comfort in a very real, permanent way.  Certainly the whenever aspect of that sentence does not apply any longer.  I actually think I will have to give this thought because I can’t nail down a concrete statement about it right now.  So the step I thought would be quickly done is making me pause over sentence after sentence.

Advertisements

One thought on “But Whenever We Had to Choose (Step Seven continued)

  1. It is a very interesting note on character-building, isn’t it? I find that when I feel challenged I need to move forward and risk leaving behind a certain comfort and staleness and that is happening more and more in menopause. With sobriety, the overwhelming fear of change has lessened and made risk possible.

    Love to you

    Mary

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s