But Whenever We Had to Choose (Step Seven continued)

But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness.

I thought I wouldn’t have much to say about the beginning parts of this step.  After all, I have spent so many years considering humility and being humble!  (Doesn’t it show?)  I am also partly back in the space where I can’t identify with some aspects of the middle aged maleness of some of the AA writing.  I know these guys took money from their families, lost their jobs, cheated on their wives, etc etc.  If I follow this thought, I will admit that I would have been headed for a similar fate, if I had been lucky enough to achieve it.  Honestly, I was probably too far gone to live that long or achieve even that much.

So yes, I chased after what I thought was happiness.  In my pitiful little world, that mostly consisted of the guy I wanted to be with, and a future dream of having children.  And as I wrote previously, even though I was only 16 when all this began, even at 16, I did know it was very wrong.  And I did it anyway.  I did it at 16 and 17 and 18, and up until I was almost 22.

It’s a little more difficult to apply this to today.  Over the years I’ve come to see that character building leads to comfort in a very real, permanent way.  Certainly the whenever aspect of that sentence does not apply any longer.  I actually think I will have to give this thought because I can’t nail down a concrete statement about it right now.  So the step I thought would be quickly done is making me pause over sentence after sentence.


One thought on “But Whenever We Had to Choose (Step Seven continued)

  1. It is a very interesting note on character-building, isn’t it? I find that when I feel challenged I need to move forward and risk leaving behind a certain comfort and staleness and that is happening more and more in menopause. With sobriety, the overwhelming fear of change has lessened and made risk possible.

    Love to you


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