Loosen My Heart (prayer)

Prayers of Invocation
I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance;
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

fully alive – dawna markova

http://www.worldprayers.org/

I can’t write too many details. Over the past few years, a few things have happened that have caused me to wonder about morality, and what is right, and what is wrong. Of course my situation is complicated, and that makes it difficult. It’s not obvious to me what the right thing is. The problem has many facets.

At the root is the question of what to do when someone is not doing his job.  It has always been a challenge for me to because at times I am called to judge.  Supervising and inventory taking have much in common.  Parenting and inventory taking have much in common too.  Friendship and marriage do too.  It’s hard.

I know someone is screwing up.  I want to let him fail and get caught.  It’s because of resentment that I don’t discuss this with the person or with someone else who might be able to do something.  Resentment plus the fact that I have been down this road many times before.  Living and working with screw ups is part of life.

Wow, how’s that for cynical and bitter?

I know that I am to ask myself what I can bring to this situation.  I know that I have brought something to it and others like it for years.  I know it’s important.  I don’t know if it’s worth it.

Honestly, I don’t know if I am of more use to everyone if I speak up or if I stay quiet.  I’ve spoken up for years, and nothing much has changed, although my attitude has changed.

None of this feels right.

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2 thoughts on “Loosen My Heart (prayer)

  1. I know you’re doing this for your own reasons, but I wanted to acknowledge how I’ve traipsed through your blog and your thoughts and your life. So thanks.

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