I’m tempted to dawdle over words like honesty and willingness and not move on. But guess what? Procrastination is a big defect of mine! So onward.
Of course, the often disputed question of whether God can – and will, under certain conditions – remove defects of character will be answered with a prompt affirmative by almost any AA member.
This is referring to that killing defect, the compulsion to drink despite awful, awful results. It is absolutely and almost completely removed from my character. Really the only time I think of drinking is when it is in my face, usually around my family. Sometimes then I think about it for a minute, but really it doesn’t appeal. I remember the bad stuff very well, thank goodness, and I’ve had the experience many times of trying to do it differently. That character defect was huge, and it was killing me. I really couldn’t function and yet I couldn’t stop.
To him, this proposition will be no theory at all; it will be just about the largest fact in his life.
That it is. I believe that if not for that, I would literally have no life. And I don’t go through life battling it. It is gone.
He will usually offer his proof in a statement like this: “Sure, I was beaten, absolutely licked. My own willpower just wouldn’t work on alcohol.
This is true for me. I tried to stop many times, and I went back many times. Even though I was physically ill and had no good prospect for the future, I couldn’t stop. Even though every time it got worse, I kept trying again, hoping it would get better or just get possible. I have none of this today, so I can agree with the book 100% on this. It’s gone, although my willpower couldn’t make it go.