We Will Not Regret the Past (from the Promises)

september09 056This is me, messing with literature before the meeting.  That is pizza for the anniversary party, and the flowers belong to the church.  I really like the space we have for my home group.  Also, the church does not charge us rent, though we make a donation each month.

The promise that “we will not regret the past” is one I don’t yet understand well.  When it comes up in conversation (between AA folks) or as a topic in a meeting, I really don’t hear anyone understanding it well, though that may just be my listening.

If I stretch for a meaning, I come up with fact that if I could become perfectly humble and have perfect humility, I would at last understand that I am a person like all other people.  No better and no worse.  Then I guess my past would be just one of unfathomable zillions.

Regret in the dictionary reveals “to feel sorrow or remorse for” or “to think of with a sense of loss.”  I don’t understand how I could fail to feel sorrow, remorse and loss about things in the past.  Some of the synonyms, “deplore, lament, bewail, bemoan, mourn, sorrow, grieve,” OK.  I can readily see that these things are a waste of the present.

Regret, penitence, remorse imply a sense of sorrow about events in the past, usually wrongs committed or errors made. Regret is distress of mind, sorrow for what has been done or failed to be done.

Sorrow about events in the past, wrongs committed, errors made – yes.  Distress of mind – not so much.  The program has taught me to right the wrongs as much as possible and move on.  If I spend much time thinking about how bad I am or have been, I am being self-centered as surely as if I spend time thinking about how wonderful I am.

So, I will not have much distress of mind for what I’ve done or failed to do in the past.  I will not regret the past?  I don’t think I can ever make it there.

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