If I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a tinkling symbol. And if I know all knowledge and prophecy all mysteries, and if I have faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I offer up my body so I may boast********
This is where I lost it. I’m still trying to memorize it, but I guess I’m not trying very hard.
So, as is my custom, when all else fails I think about following directions. I prayed for the first time on this vacation yesterday, the seventh day of the odyssey. I should know better. I went to one meeting on this vacation on I don’t know which day. I have even put this blog on vacation. Though I’m writing a lot, I left the disciplined format I had developed.
I feel like I have failed at having fun. Now this is nothing new. Which makes it worse. And of course I’ve had fun, tons of it, days of it. Why isn’t it OK to admit that I don’t like vacation? Why isn’t it OK to admit I don’t like heat?
The ultimate ideal, I think, would be to like and be serene in all situations. It would be to recognize and appreciate God’s grace as expressed to me through this vacation. I would really like to get into and love the whole Disney experience. I’ve actually come a short way toward doing that recently by letting go of some of the thoughts I have that involve the evil of Disney. Ideally, I would remain serene in the face of the distress of my family members. I would be the calming, loving example for them to admire and follow. Maybe I’d also accept my humanness.
We went to a show explaining animation, and the announcer guy said that on the third day of Disney, someone in the family snaps. He said he wouldn’t single people out, but advised everyone to be nice to mom. So maybe I’m just totally average, although I want to be better.
I’m heading out for my last day at Disney for this trip. I wonder if it will be my last time. Not to be morbid, but you never know. Maybe I’ll try to live it as if it is my last. Maybe I’ll try to live it as if I had been practicing AA for 24 years.
