Alanon

I went to three meetings yesterday – a beginners meeting in alanon, a regular meeting in alanon, and to my regular home group meeting. Alanon is something I’ve mostly held off all these years. I’ve been to less than five meetings total, counting the two yesterday.

To say I qualify would be silly. I cannot think of any relatives, really, who aren’t alcoholics or addicts. My parents and several grandparents, my wife and probably my son if not both of my kids. I can go to any category of alanon and fit perfectly. I don’t know why I haven’t liked the meetings I’ve been to. I haven’t identified big time with the “adult children of alcoholics” since I’ve heard of such a thing. THE first book, written in the 80s, really left me cold. I usually think it’s because my father died when I was so young (6), that I never developed so many of the character traits that are common to this group. But even as I say that, I know that my mother still to this day presents me with issues because of her drinking. Yet I usually just don’t identify.

Yesterday’s meeting was on a tradition, which bores the hell out of my even in AA. So not a good example. But I told the friend who suggested I go that I will go again. I’m well acquainted with “contempt prior to investigation” and of course I know better. I’m also trying to borrow a page from another friend’s book that says that when someone asks if they can help, don’t say no, say I don’t know, and explore what they offer.